Attempted Analysis

2006-07-30T23:26:00.000-07:00

All Beauty must die

Amidst the pollution and bustle of Bangalore there is this untouched patch that bears proof to the erstwhile beauty that was Bangalore. On this visit to Bangalore I went to this place…
One can hardly believe that within 15 minutes the landscape could undergo such a drastic change! The concrete buildings, polluting vehicles and bustling people gives way to a serene calm beauty. I sat there quite, for a few minutes and watched as the tall grass swayed ever so gently in the zephyr, the mild ripples on the surface of the lake moved so slow, it seemed like a lazy child forced into the task of forming textures so beautiful!

As I sat letting this beauty seep into my being I felt a cloud of sadness settle on me, this in the knowledge that all will disappear and be replaced by buildings and vehicles for the sake of prosperity. At this thought my heart shrunk and squeezed out a small, shy tear into my eye that refused to roll down onto my cheek. For I knew the next time I come, like every time I return, little by little all the beauty I once treasured will either disappear or change in a manner I could not accept. Like the inevitable loss of this land from my life I thought so many other aspects of my life would change too. I noticed that friends were different, I could no longer have that free flowing enjoyment that I once had just by being around them. I still enjoy and love their company but something has changed. What is this change? Is it them or is it me? Has life caught up with the freedom of youth? I don’t know, I may never know. But as the time approaches for me to return, I fear. I fear to leave. I think that this time I will be off for too long. I fear when I return things would have changed beyond repair or beyond my ability to adapt. I want to stay and protect all my treasures from change, but what am I but a mere dreamer to think that I can take on the powerful force of change that for centuries has ruled over the universe. So with the hope that change will improve, I have to accept the inevitable – All beauty must die!

2006-05-26T00:11:00.000-07:00

Driving in LA after coming from India

I have driven around in India for about 4-5 years. Driving there is madness but that is what I was used to. There are barely any rules that needs to be followed out there, its a game of survival. Every driver develops driving instincts that can border onto a form of sixth sense. Pedestrians are on their own and even a slight mistake in judgment can cause an accident.
Now after being used to that sort of driving I am in LA where these guys actually follow rules! whoever heard of that. I mean we have these expensive fast machines, why on earth are we to yeild to lowly pedestrians. Then there are those stop signs. I dont understand why I must stop when I know the road is empty and why cant I just slow down.
Dont get me wrong- Its nice they have rules- noble and all. But I must follow them! I am just not used to following then. Well I don't even mind following them, but I can't be expected to stay alert and look out for these signs, pedestrians or on coming traffic even.
Well the first time I took the car in LA my worry was not the high speeds on the freeway or the left hand drive, it was the rules. But I realised there was something even worse than rules here, it was the merging of highways and finding the exits. In India if you miss a turn go a little ahead, take a U-turn or if you can't do that drive in the opposite direction on the same lane (against the traffic) and all is fine. In LA you miss an exit you are lost. Try to correct the error and you will end up in another city. Then there are these merging of highways. Man those are a terror- you will have to change 3 lanes to stay on the highway you want. When you think all is fine there you see a sign that askes you to change a lane to stay in the highway of your choice- then quickly through that high speed traffic you do so. Move a little distance and you realize that the lane shift that the sign told you to make was a parrallax error and again you shift back to the old, by this time you have earned ugly stares from the traffic in your surrounding.
Well I came across these problems. Lost my way many times over, broke so many rules the first day that caused me to become a paranoid nervous wreck, constantly looking over my shoulder for cop cars pulling me over (by the way I still dont know how to pull over at the freeway- I would have comitted yet another crime in that situation).
But all said and done after a day of a painful learning experience I can now drive that car anywhere I want to. I am now enpowered, in a city with a miserable public transporation system learning to drive a car gives you that feeling.

2006-05-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

Divine intervention?

There was this point in time when I had quite a lot of problems messing with my head. There were some serious financial difficulties which I was hoping would be taken care of with an internship. But I messed up the final round of the only interview I got called for. My course projects were in a terrible mess and of course as always my love life was non existant. I tried to get help from friends but none was forthcoming, and for no fault of theirs I must add they did try but they had thier own problems to worry about.

Thus heavy headed I was walking towards the Lab. My worries probably showed 'cause as I walked along this guy called out to me.
"Wassup" he asked
I looked around a bit surprised
"u talking to me" I asked
"yeah man dont worry"
Trying to act high and mighty, I replied with a sarcastic smile
"What makes u think I am worried?"
"I can make out man- dont worry its all gonna be alright, Take it easy alright" with those words he waved at me and walked away.
I was too stunned to make anything of it. But those word he said threw some switch inside me. I felt ok- I genuinely felt everything was gonna be alright. Probably it was the way he spoke those words or the fact that he cared enough to make out that a total stranger needs two words of encouragement.
After that I fought on with renewed vigour. Now my problems did not magically disappear infact more problems stacked up but that incident played back in my head and nothing put me down anymore.
I wonder if that guy was one of those disguised angels God sends when he thinks you need help or was it just some wierd guy going around telling people to take it easy.
I like to believe it was the former. It feels nice to know someone is watching over you and holding you up through it all.

2006-05-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

Fruits of dawn

It was a sunday morning. I had nothing to do. After about a week of intense work I was finally free, my mind and body was relaxed. I decided to go to a "juice joint" nearby for breakfast. For those who are not from Bangalore - a juice joint is a small shed where you can buy refreshing fruit juice cocktails and other items like grilled sandwiches.
I walked down towards the joint, enjoying the calm and quite of the morning. The regular noise of traffic was replaced by the sweet chirping of birds and sounds of brooms sweeping away fallen leaves. The 'supravdiyam' from a nearby temple added to the blissful effect of the environment.
I reached the shop. They had just rolled up the shutters. One of the employees was cleaning up the front of the shop while another was offering prayers in front of a picture of God asking for another day of good and smooth business. As I was watching all this one of the employees asked me if I would like to have anything, I asked for a pineapple juice and a vegetable grilled sandwich.
Having placed my order I picked up a stool and sat waiting for my order. While I was waiting I saw a van approach and stop in front of the shop. On sliding open the door I could see that it was filled with a variety of fruits - watermellons, gauvas, apples, pineapples, pappayas... All these fruits were so colourful, a combination of red, green, yellow, purple, it was something that could inspire an artists masterpiece. Come to think of it - it is an artists masterpiece, the best artist of them of all. As they unloaded the fruits a banana vendor came by in his cart, one of the shop employees started negotiating a price for those bananas. Finally the fruits were unloaded, bananas were bought and they were all set to go for another day of work- quenching peoples thirst and revitalizing their bodies.
They gave me my pineapple juice and the sandwich I ordered. I started slowly sipping the juice and enjoying the taste of every drop of it while biting through the delicious sandwich. A couple came to the shop. It was wonderful to see how the two were so into each other, it was as if they did not care for the world around them. As far as they were concerned the world had a population of two. Occasionally one would give a light push to the other with his shoulder and she would respond with a "sharmila" giggle. At times the two just stared into each others eyes like that was all they required to communicate.
I finished my breakfast, paid at the counter and started heading home. While doing so I thought to myself about all I had seen and the calm I felt in me. Sometimes in the rush of life we forget to enjoy all these small delights and moments in our lives. Whenever things seem to be spinning out of control, when you think you are getting tired of it all, stop. Take a few moments to yourself, forget all you worries and observe life around you- listen to that song "Its a wonderful world" by Louis Armstrong to help you get started and take pleasure in the beauty that is life. This will re invegorate you and fill you with new energy to take on all your problems.